Losing It...

My shortcomings and convictions have been a huge cloud looming over my head the last couple of weeks. I am so lost in the sea of them that I feel that there is no way out. These things are things that I will probably never tell anyone in my lifetime but my God knows exactly what I am guilty of. As I share this with a friend of mine today, a song was brought to our conversation. This song, word for word, expresses how I have been feeling lately. What if our God only had so much to forgive, so much that he could forget, and only allowed so many times for us to mess up?? What a mess we would be but why at this point in my life am I using that as leverage to keep committing to what I know is so wrong in His eyes? I hate the positon I have put myself in and I hate that I have allowed Satan so far in that he is controlling me without any struggle. I feel so lost and so far gone. I wanted to share this song with whomever may read this... I do have hope, there will be peace.. losing it and letting go is the most difficult part of this...