The latest...

Okay so the 30 Day Photo Challenge was an epic fail. I gave up and for all of you who were following that "project" close, I apologize. However, I wanted to update everyone on how things have been. I was a little down in the clouds in my last post and I am so thankful to say that I am much more sure about life and feel on top of the world right now. Aaron and I have reached a new level of trust, intimacy, and love in our relationship and it couldn't feel any more right than it does now. I know God has a plan for us and following that out each day in HIS time has been so amazing.

Meet Bella



The newest addition to our family and quite possibly the best puppy ever. She cuddles, plays and sleeps. Doesn't whine or bark and we couldn't love her any more than we do. We miss her when we drop her off and get sad when she has to go in for shots and always wish she was with us when were gone. I cant wait for summer and for her to come camping, hiking and swimming with us!!

Thats all for now. I will update again soon.

Ugh ..............

When I tell you everything is okay and that I am doing great, it's a lie. Don't be offended if you don't get the answers that you are looking for when you ask because I probably won't tell you. Reasons known and unknown, I am at a crossroads with life. I have forgotten myself, my beliefs, and my standards far too many times and I am paying for it greatly deep inside. My heart hurts and some serious soul searching and praying will be taking place over the course of who knows how long. Sometimes I hate being grown up and just want to go back to those days of innocence and perfection, the days so full of life. I want to be strong but right now, I am finding it very hard. For those of you following or those of you who have come to my blog for the first time, please keep me in your daily prayers.

I wont settle for being a possibility, I want all or nothing.

I can't help but to think I'm stepping one foot forward too fast and its causing me to lose my balance in life. I've fallen short yet I am planning so far ahead. I have certain plans for plans that are very uncertain and while I am so excited to live that life, I am so crushed by the steps that may not be taken to even get there. I'm losing who I am through someone who I want to be with the rest of my life. I'm losing direction and hope all at the same time. What is right? And what is selfish? I am so confused and frustrated right now, I can scream. I know that all of the crappy situations being thrown at me are meant to test my inner strength and not to test how strong my crutch is to lean on. I will soon be having conversations that I don't want to have and making devastating decisions that I don't even want to think about right now. For those that are reading, please pray for me. Pray that God give me direction and strength to speak through Him with my words and rely on Him as my guide through the important decisions to be made in my very near future. And pray that through the sometimes painful outcomes that I have the strength to move on, be myself and know that He's already got my plan at hand.

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Day 6

{A photo of someone you'd trade places with for a day}

There is no photo for this entry for the simple fact that I wouldn't trade lives with anyone if even for just a day. I have a father who stepped out of my life at a very young age but chose one day to be a part of my life when he could have chose to have nothing to do with me. A father who has nothing yet still does what he can to give the shirt off his back and ensure that I am safe and happy. I have a mother who loves me and understands me. A mother who hurts when I hurt and smiles when I smile like no one else can. I have three of the most beautiful sisters in the world. Sisters that I would not trade for a single second. I have a boyfriend that words can't even express how flawless he is. A boyfriend that I will proudly have forever. I have friends that are there when I need them and even when I don't. Friends that will do anything and everything for me and nothing less. Most importantly I have a God that has every best interest of my future right at His hands. A God who will never turn His back on me even with such a pitiful standard of faith. Why would I want to trade places with anyone else...for a day... when I have all of this and more?

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Day 5

{A photo of your favorite memory}

This is only one of the many pictures that I wanted to post for my favorite memory. This is the paradise Aaron and I got to stay in for a whole week of many of my favorite memories. One week back in the day when we had time, we decided to road trip to Indio California. If any of you are familiar with Southern California or better yet Palm Springs in the middle of July, you'll know what I'm talking about when I say we experienced heat like Salem Oregon will probably never see in our lifetime. It was 115 degrees all but one day that we were there so we were excited to drive 2 hours north to visit a theme park each day. The memories are unforgettable and definitely some of my favorite. I can't wait for another vacation!

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Day 4

{A photo of your night}

A first time homebuyers crash course is where Aaron and I spent two and half hours of our evening. Tonight we met our future lender and realtor and couldn't be more excited for what our future holds. Nervous of course but very anxious to take the first step to see what we are even able to shop for.

For those of you who haven't bought a home and or don't know where to start when buying a home... I DEFINITELY recommend taking this free class. Awesome awesome people and really great information.

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Day 3

{A photo of the cast from your favorite show}

The Office: the show I did not understand nor like the first few times I watched it. I finally got the hang of it and it became my favorite and I quickly recruited a few other friends to love it right along with me. Always Sunny, How I Met Your Mother, and East Bound and Down are all some other favorites but The Office is classic and still stands alone at the very top of my list... one more season and my first series of box sets will be complete!!

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