I wont settle for being a possibility, I want all or nothing.

I can't help but to think I'm stepping one foot forward too fast and its causing me to lose my balance in life. I've fallen short yet I am planning so far ahead. I have certain plans for plans that are very uncertain and while I am so excited to live that life, I am so crushed by the steps that may not be taken to even get there. I'm losing who I am through someone who I want to be with the rest of my life. I'm losing direction and hope all at the same time. What is right? And what is selfish? I am so confused and frustrated right now, I can scream. I know that all of the crappy situations being thrown at me are meant to test my inner strength and not to test how strong my crutch is to lean on. I will soon be having conversations that I don't want to have and making devastating decisions that I don't even want to think about right now. For those that are reading, please pray for me. Pray that God give me direction and strength to speak through Him with my words and rely on Him as my guide through the important decisions to be made in my very near future. And pray that through the sometimes painful outcomes that I have the strength to move on, be myself and know that He's already got my plan at hand.

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